Posted 3 months ago

July 3

There was a kid who kept crying like a 120 db siren with continuous screaming and unexplainable laugher on my plane from Charlotte to New York. Please, federal government, spend more time on classifying this noise as a brand new level of biohazard than wasting our hard earned bucks on useless Medicare.

And I hate international flights. That being said you have to carry all your trash along with you while making efforts in vain trying to find out which terminal you should be in. I finally made it on board 5 minutes before departure. Building on that, I don’t even have a clue how on earth I answered all their questions successfully even I can barely speak Korean. Of course, the arrival card they gave me is for foreigners lol

Asiana is actually way better than I thought. Quality food, pretty air hostesses, appropriate temperature and a shit ton of movies. I would be really happy if the air hostesses speak English, or any other languages that I am able to speak…just not a lot of honorific words in Korean. Hope they don’t think I am American Korean or something else.

As far as I’ve noticed, Chinese kids around me really are envious of those banana men somehow. For them, being a stupid “ABC” is a fancy but remote dream. Drove by this complex, even the NOBs stop admitting that their mother language is actually Chinese. Things are quite opposite in Korea: people hate those so-called American born Koreans. Then consider them as a weird genre of their ethnicity.

Ethnicity is always an intriguing topic to talk about yet I am not feeling like doing so. Who am I? What’s my real name? What is the name that I chose to use since I decided to embargo a different way? What’s my identity? …you know, it is not our choice. What we chose makes us unique but brings us loneliness, and I believe not a lot of ppl can taste even a smudge of the bitterness. I was watching Divergent . When Tris’s parents dead for her she murmured to Four : now we are fractionless and homeless…that kinda captures my feeling.

Anyways, new life, new language (bless my lil heart), new friends (my 아저씨 n 나는 한국어를 구사하지 못하는 ㅋㅋㅋ)…and we all know it won’t take that long for me to dirty up those clean slates! Little spillage out there.

我想这才是我真正意义上的“留学”,因为这把我的语言全部失灵😁 I am shamelessly happy. Finally I am back to Asia, the place where the new sun rises. 完璧じゃないことも完璧になるは有るってはあたしが信じてること..でも、今回は完璧な夏になるように。

P.s. Since when all the subs of movies are in Chinese? I am pretty happy that this time those subs are pretty accurate.

K.M, up in the air.

Posted 6 months ago

Last night I went to Sano’s house to have some really good takoyaki. There were 9 people including Sam, Jon, Nanami, Dinah and Chinese girls from lower level class. It was so much fun…and I didn’t regret for not going to formal at all lol.
At 10ish when all the Chinese left (poor sam), we started chatting and playing music. All the music played was amazingly good. Sano said,”この歌はキムのソングだよ” and then he played this song. 「あんたはいつも完璧主義でしょう」w
I listened to this song today and cried.


「お前なんかいてもいなくても」がお得意の 意地悪いこの世界の口癖で
僕の耳元で飽きもせずに 話がしたいなら顔を見せなよ 今すぐさ

あと何万回の後悔で 僕は僕の期待を超えられるだろう
この心に足が生えてたら 今日の行き先は違っていたかな

就職試験の合格通知 面白い人間の不合格通知
心は彼方 全力疾走で もういないだろう 「俺に用はないだろう」

圧倒的で感動的な 理想的超えて完璧な
運命的で冒険的な 時に叙情的な未来 VS

平均的で盲目的 半永久的に安泰な
無痛 無臭 無害 無安打無失点の 未来 未来 未来

近頃いつ僕は僕のことを 驚かせてやってあげたかな
逃げられてしまう前に早いとこ 一生お前についていくって言わせてやる

自分で自分予測変換 説明書などなしで充分だって
その「しょうがないだろう だってしょうがないだろう」

圧倒的で感動的な 無敵的超えて完璧な
創造的で本能的な 前人未到的な 世界 VS

退廃的で暴力的 悲劇的超えて残酷な
差別的ゆえに反逆的な世界 世界

圧倒的で感動的な 理想的超えて完璧な
創造的で本能的な 奇跡的超えて幸福な

退廃的で暴力的で 悲劇的超えて残酷な
独善的で享楽的な 完膚なきまでに壮絶な

世界 世界 世界 世界 世界 世界

圧倒的で感動的な 理想的超えて完璧な
運命的で冒険的な 時に叙情的な未来 ×2×2

創造的で本能的 芸術的超えて幸福な
延長22回 二死 満塁 3点ビハインド 不敵な笑み
4番 目隠しスウィング 初球 逆転満塁弾な未来 未来

Posted 7 months ago
Posted 7 months ago




Posted 8 months ago

I am really appreciative that Moon is by my side when I get upset over insignificant things…I am always giving off happy vibes but I know I have such a dark seed growing in my heart. I still don’t trust anyone but yes..thanks for being there.

Posted 8 months ago

Mother language

我长这么大实际上对我生命里的任何事情都从未抱有希望,一丝一毫都无。我从不会对我的家人,朋友抱有丝毫期待因为我知道失望在所难免,所以为何去可怜巴巴地期待?你记得的事情,没有几个人可以记住;你期盼的东西,大多不会发生。我不会忘记以前被关在房间里在梦里都握紧拳头皱眉的那段日子,那段日子很大程度上造就了我现在的性格,我也知道按照现在我这种日程表一般精确的进度,我确实会变成我自己要变成的那种人,至于喜不喜欢也没人在意。但我又有什么好抱怨的呢?我在这个国家才十六七个月 基本有了我需要的一切了。这不是抱怨,而是我最冷静的想法了。所以周五晚上周日一天开车出去hang out一天我真的很放松。心血来潮开到另个城市吃顿饭然后再开回学校喝酒,聊电影 聊生活 聊罪 聊吃喝玩乐 聊操蛋的未来。去个咖啡馆带上我各种vault资料然后抽抽烟喝咖啡听akiko唱I miss you. 一坐就是一天。Elliot骑着自行车带着E.T.飞过夜空 曾经是我小时候的梦 不过现在虽然梦想全无欲望暴涨 坐在副驾驶座放松到打盹,旁边有个朋友放我喜欢的Bumkey也很好

Posted 9 months ago

Self-loathing and tired.
Endless rainy days.

Posted 9 months ago

lighten up

Posted 9 months ago

My beautiful city Toronto.

Posted 9 months ago

Just another snowy day.